MoMmY nEeDsA mAi-tAi !!!

Live life to the fullest... Enjoy the love of your children... Love your spouse... Drink a mai-tai every now and then... Thats how things should be...

where did we go wrong??

I bet that I'm not the only one who learned how to bake a Thanksgiving turkey by watching my Mama, right? Well, right up until today, I thought we were doing it right. Then, when I get to the school to pick up the girls today, I was handed a booklet. "How To Cook a Turkey, Directions by Head Start Class A and Class B" These kids really taught me something ;0) So all you ladies (and guys) who thought you knew how to fix the perfect turkey for your families...think again, listen to these ideas! *not to be taken seriously, for health reasons LOL*

*not using names of children, except for my own*

  • (My Shelby) Roast it in a pan. Cook it on the stove for 8 to 10 days.

Yummy, wouldnt that be a tasty turkey? Cooked for that long? LOL

  • First you buy it at the store. I (this child) dont know how to fix it, but it's always good!
  • Cook it like a horse. You put it in the microwave so long.

*Frantically looking up a recipe for "cooked horse"*

  • Put it in the oven for 1000 months.

Alright! Fear Factor Turkey!!!

  • Put it in a bowl, and then a pan, and then into the oven. Cook it for four (4) minutes.


  • My mommy cooks it in the microwave for four (4) days.

Wow...mommy has issues LOL

  • (My Shaleena) Put it in the refrigerator then the stove and cook it.

Okay, not tooting my own horn, but at least my kid knows I use the stove instead of the microwave!

  • Hide it under the blanket, then put it outside, then you put it in the microwave. Then you bake it for 5 hours.

*translation* Hide it under the blanket, put it outside and let the wild animals have their way with it, then bake it in the microwave for 5 hours until it tastes like rubber.

  • Squeeze it and put it in the microwave until it gets bigger. Then you eat it.
  • The bones are on the side, the chicken is in the middle, put some salt on it so it will taste better. Cook it in the oven for 5 minutes. Then take it out. Then put more salt on it and at night you put it in the refrigerator to get the salt out.

Sounds like her mommy uses Paula Deen's recipe for "Turdunken." You know, the turkey that has a duck AND a chicken inside it!

  • Put it in a pan, put it in the oven, then get it out. If it is not good, give it to the dogs and cats.

My personal favorite idea ;o)

  • Cook it at home! Put it in the pan and put it in the oven and cook it for half a second. Then get it out and put it on plates.

We'll call this "tursushi." Haha, I'm so funny! Get it? Tursushi=turkey + sushi! It only cooks for 1/2 a second...

  • Bake it in the fire. You cook it five minutes. The turkey is in the woods and you kill it. It only tastes good in the summer, not in the winter.
  • You go to Wal-Mart and you buy it and then cook it in the oven at one hundred degrees for five minutes, then throw it in the woods. Because turkey makes us sick because we're getting old.

Dadburnit, thats why I've seen so many roasted turkeys in the woods by our house!

  • Send daddy to the woods to kill it and throw it in the fire and cook it for ten minutes. Then you eat it!
  • Put it in the fire for five minutes. It's in the woods and you find it and shoot it with a gun. Put it in very slowly so it wont bite you.

Ahh, this is an easy recipe. You dont have to de-feather it, or kill it. Just throw that bad boy in the oven and cook him LOL

  • You only get turkey at Thanksgiving. Cook it on the stove for three minutes on hot. Then eat it!
  • Go to wal-mart and buy it. Cook in a stove at hot degrees for five minutes.
  • Go to wal-mart (but not today). Let daddy buy it and cook it. He bakes it in the oven at three hundred degrees for five seconds. Take out and cut in half and then eat it. Let mommy make the pumpkin pie.

If daddy would cook it a little longer, this wouldnt be a half bad idea LOL

  • Get a turkey at the grocery store and then put it in the smoker for about night time at three hundred degrees. You cut it, then eat it!
  • Let grandma cook it in the heater at night time because she has an old stove . She cooks it on thirty degrees. She cuts it up because its yummy with garlic on it. Then I eat it because it's oh so good, and hot and fluffy and oh good!!! it on 30 degrees. Maybe it tastes better frozen than it does cooked? hehe

  • Get the turkey at the dollar store! Cook it in a pan and a pot on top of the stove for ten hours. Cook it on high!
  • Cook it in a pan like my daddy cooked the deer last night. He finally shot one! He cooks the turkey for three hours just like the deer. You kill the turkey in the woods!

Woohoo for daddy!! He finally shot a deer! ROFL

Okay ya'll. I know that these future "Paula Deens, Rachel Ray's and Emeril's" have got you wanting to try their recipes...but, for health and sanity reasons, you might just want to stick to your "wrong" way of doing it, just like you have forever! hehe All I can say is...Kids say the darndest things :) And by the way, I used the exact words that the kids did so, no, I'm not goofy LOL Enjoy :0)

*Tomorrow night will be my last night of work until sunday night. We are going to Kentucky to spend Thanksgiving with my husbands family. So, if I dont post tomorrow night, I wish you all the very best Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family being together, and eat lots of turkey! *hugs to all*

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At 11/22/2006 08:33:00 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Well, you just made my morning! I am dying over here! I imagine my boys would say the same things. The book is a cute idea. Maybe I'll pass that along to some of the teachers up here. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and for Pete's sake, DON'T LET THE KIDS COOK! :o)
P.S. I liked your 'tursushi' line! I'll have to remember that one!    

At 11/22/2006 11:22:00 AM, Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

"Cook it like a horse." HILARIOUS! What are they feeding that kid at home?    

At 11/22/2006 04:10:00 PM, Blogger Tonya said...

These are so much better than the ones from the older kids that they publish in our town's newspaper. Apparently there are lots of hunters in your neck of the woods!

For some reason the one about getting the turkey at the dollar store just cracks me up! Didn't see that one coming. Or the one about cooking it like a horse.

Have a great Thanksgiving!    

At 11/23/2006 12:31:00 PM, Blogger alisonwonderland said...

we did this with the kids in my son's kindergarten class two years ago. great fun!

happy thanksgiving!    

At 11/24/2006 10:38:00 AM, Blogger Katkat said...

LOL- I decided on ham not Turkry this year.    

At 11/27/2006 12:36:00 AM, Anonymous Cheysuli said...

Thank heavens even my human cooks better than this. I had some good eating...

Zeus is my reason for the season.    

At 11/27/2006 12:54:00 AM, Blogger Lotta said...

Somebody please fry me up a turkey. I've had regular turkey and turkdukey (gross) but am dying to try the fried version. If I did it I would set myself alight!    

At 11/27/2006 06:06:00 AM, Blogger MommaK said...

:) My daughter did one of those books in kindergarten and it is still a favorite to read every year. Sounds a bit like one of my recipies ;-)

Hope you had a great holiday sweetie.

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